12 Transformative Steps to Deepen Your Relationship with God
I have written this blog about growing closer to God as I believe that the world, the flesh and the devil have influenced us negatively in some aspects of our lives, and because of this many of us find the process of obedience, surrender, and trust in God nearly impossible.
Most of us are totally unaware of these blockages that keep us from accepting God’s grace. It is only when we are able to clear these blockages that a deep and intimate relationship with God can start to form. It isn’t about only moving closer to God during times of suffering (while that’s important) but about finding a way to walk with Him through every season of life.
By the grace of God, and as I began my recovery from addiction, I have come across a practical working solution that was able to uncover the issues that were keeping me from intimacy with Him. A connection with God was almost instantaneous thereafter.
These twelve steps are included in my book, Breakthrough into Deeper Intimacy with God. The book addresses these steps to spiritual relationship with God in even more detail. It’s time for Christians to breakthrough and truly experience and sense God’s presence on an intimate level in their everyday lives.
12 steps to get closer to God:
1. Admission
We need to admit we were powerless over our lives, and that our lives are unmanageable by ourselves. It was easy for me to admit this once it was brought into focus by the step, as there were things out of my control – physical and mental inabilities I had – and because of this, I was unable to achieve what I set out to in life. Arguably, Paul was the most influential of all the new testament profits, and he wrote to the church in Rome saying; “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”
2. Belief
Once we had passed the first step, we quickly came to see that we were beyond human aid, meaning no other person had the power to manage our life either, which leaves us with very little choice other than to look to a power greater than humanity. For me, this did not need to be a sudden change of belief, but rather an open-mindedness to the possibility that there was a God of the universe that wielded a power great enough to be able to manage my affairs. In Luke 18:26&27 it says; Those who heard this said, “Then who in the world can be saved?” He replied, “What is impossible for people is possible with God.”
3. Decision
Although my belief in God had grown, I still found it daunting to make the decision to hand over my will and my life to Him. Maybe it was because I had no other alternative that I made the decision in the end, even though I was still struggling with the full belief, but I committed to do what I could, which was to continue with the rest of the steps to the best of my ability. James says in chapter 2:14; “What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?” and in verse 17; “Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.”
4. Practicality
This step is where we do most of our admin work, and as Chuck C. put it in a talk at a retreat in Pala Mesa back in 1975, it is system of “uncover, discover and discard.” This step is fundamental to the process, and essentially involves taking inventory of our lives, and I am pleased that there are a lot of prompts, examples and worksheets, which makes it far less daunting to work through. Lamentations 3:40; “Let us test and examine our ways, And let us return to the Lord”
5. Confession
Once we have uncovered the issues or blockages in our lives and have fashioned our part we had to play in them, we then share this with God, ourselves and another person. The first two were easy for me, but it was only when I sat down and shared the nature of these things to someone else that I started healing. Confirmation of this truth can be read in James 5:16; “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” I am really pleased to share that although daunting at first, there seemed to be a comfort in me that made it possible to do.
6. Willingness
At this point we become willing to have our part of the issue – our defects, if you will – removed by God. It is not easy being entirely willing, because the control we think we have, and some of the character defects that have unwittingly formed, had become the broken crutch we depended on to give us a semblance of relief in our situations, so sub-consciously we may want to hang onto a few of them. Fortunately, the willingness will come from God if we are sincere – it did for me – Phil 2:13; “For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is effectively at work in you, both to will and to work [that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose] for His good pleasure”.
7. Humility
We have come to a point where we then ask God to remove these defects from a position of humility. My definition of Humility is knowing that I can’t, but through me, God can. The Word of God says, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” James 4:10
8. Preparation
This is the start of the discarding process where we attempt to right the wrongs we have caused others, and preparation is key to this process as we want our amends to be sincere, and to make sure that God is in control of this process as He has been from the beginning of the process until this point. Matt 5:23-24; “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
9. Action
In wanting to be in a sincere relationship with God, our hearts need to be as His. We need to attempt to make amends to those we have harmed with the right motive. I found this step a little daunting at times, but it was after this step that I realised that God was with me, and had been all the time – He became so real. As we are asking for God’s mercy, grace and to be in relation with us, let us remember the scriptures, “give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” Luke 6:38
10. Maintenance
So now that we have cleared up the wreckage of the past, we need to make sure that when we make mistakes – and we will – we have a small inventory we take that highlights this, so that we can admit them to God and make amends where we have hurt others. I liken it to a car going for its annual service. I find that this keeps me in close relationship with Jesus and this is where it is most comforting. “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” Matt 16:24-25
11. Spirituality
As we desire to grow deeper in relationship with God, like any relationship, we need to spend more time with God. As Billy Graham said when asked about growing closer to God, “The answer is clear: we have to spend time with someone—listening to them, sharing our interests and concerns with them, learning about them, and so forth. And the same is true with God.”
His Holy Spirit is the one that will speak to God at a deeper level of our needs (Rom 8:26&27), but this step shows us some ways to conscious prayer and listening to God – this is relationship, and is part of our everyday life which I cannot go without these days. We need to also continually read the Bible as God’s Word to get closer to Him. I love what it says in Col 1:26-27; “This message was kept secret for centuries and generations past, but now it has been revealed to God’s people. For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory.”
12. Service
If we find there are other blockages in our lives, we can repeat these steps from the beginning, using the issue at hand as the focal point. But passing onto others what we have so freely been given from God, is the one sure way to keep what I have been given. We give out of gratitude and love for God as our motive, but His promises remain; “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Prov 11:25
I speak to you as someone who has tried and struggled and fought to understand and get this ‘God-thing’ for 34 years, and all my attempts did was lead me to some painful, shameful and dark places; all nowhere near God. But God’s grace saw fit to bring a workable solution across my path, and enough desperation to try to do what it said, and without even knowing what I was doing, there God was; in me, with me, supporting me, loving me, and being my friend.
Breakthrough into Deeper Intimacy with God - Available Now!
He opened my eyes to the fact that He had been there all the time, and that “in Him, I live, and I move and I have my being.” In my book, Breakthrough into Deeper Intimacy with God, I have written all this down, and my prayer is that you find your relationship with God as well.
Are you also in recovery or struggling with addiction? Here are six Christian books on addiction, as well as many bible verses about addiction that I found helpful in my recovery. God bless you.